We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head. - Dennis Miller
I'm actually equal parts cynicism and apathy. I'm always willing to believe the worst as long as it doesn't take too much effort. - Dennis Miller
It's your living room, it's your life, go nuts. You like Home Improvement? Tape it and go over it like it's the Zapruder film. - Dennis Miller
And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow - Dennis Miller
A lot of people voting for Pat Buchanan say they are doing so to send a message. Apparently that message is, "Hey, look at me, I'm an idiot." - Dennis Miller
I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries that still has a communist party. - Dennis Miller